Minimizing Bedtime Routine Protests

Does your baby start to protest as soon as you walk into their room to start their sleep routine? This is very common with babies, especially babies that are starting to learn how to sleep on their own. As babies grow, they develop stronger associations and attachment with the people and routines they love most. So if your baby seems upset when bedtime or nap time begins, it might be because they're starting to recognize the separation and want to resist it. They don't want to miss out on time with you or the "fun" activity you will be doing while they are sleeping. As a persons with serious FOMO (fear of missing out) I can completely relate, however as a parent I know that the sleep needs of my baby are more important than trying to make her happy. This reaction can feel stressful, but it's entirely normal and a sign of healthy attachment.

Create a Soothing, Predictable Routine  

A consistent bedtime routine helps your baby understand the sequence of events, building security and comfort. Include soothing activities like a warm bath, quiet stories, or gentle songs. Keep your routine short and focused on calm, positive interactions to prepare your baby for rest.

Shift Your Focus to the Room  

Helping your baby build a positive association with their room is key. Spend some time during the day playing or reading in the nursery, separate from bedtime. This can create a comforting space that isn’t exclusively tied to separation or sleep.

Start the Bedtime Routine Outside the Room  

If going straight to the room triggers upset feelings, consider beginning your bedtime routine outside of it. You can read stories or sing songs in the living room or another quiet spot before moving to the bedroom to finish the routine.

Babies thrive on predictability. As you go through the bedtime routine, consider adding little cues, like a certain phrase or a favorite stuffed animal (over 12 months old), that signal it’s time for sleep. Over time, your baby will start to associate these signals with comfort and security rather than just separation.

If your baby becomes upset when it’s time for bed, respond calmly and comfort them briefly, but avoid making prolonged visits that reinforce their upset reactions. This balanced approach shows you’re there for them without making it a game or source of prolonged attention.

Gradually Adjust Your Presence  

You might try staying in the room for a few moments as they settle down and then slowly work towards leaving sooner over time. Known as "gradual withdrawal," this approach helps them build confidence in their room with the reassurance that you're close by.

Be Patient and Consistent  

Consistency is key. Even though it might take a little time for them to adjust, they will start to feel more secure and comfortable. With a little patience and a regular routine, your baby can learn to enjoy their bedtime routine without distress.

  

Helping your baby feel comfortable at bedtime is a process that combines security, routine, and positive associations with their sleep space. Remember that gentle, patient consistency is key, and eventually, bedtime will become a more comforting experience for both of you!